Can
You Hear Your Body Talking?
Your body language will boost you to the top or
keep you among the majority of people in the
middle and bottom. You have less than 10 seconds
and realistically closer to four seconds to make a
good first impression on those you come into
contact with. There is a world of research that
clearly indicates that you will be judged
professionally and personally in the first few
seconds of your meeting someone for the first
time. In fact your first impression is recorded
and is used as a yard stick for all future
communication by those whom you meet. Whatever
that first impression is going to be on your part,
you want it to be intentional and on purpose.
Let's take a look at how to talk your way to
the top with your body. Most people are completely
unaware of just how much their body says and how
it often contradicts what the words are saying!
There are numerous elements of what we might call
body language. They include your physical features
both changeable and unchangeable, your gestures
and signals that you send to others at the
conscious and unconscious level and the space that
you use when communicating with others. In this
chapter we will touch on all of these important
areas of body language.
What You Look Like Really Talks!
Let's begin with our physical appearance. Here
are some astounding facts that will give you pause
for thought when you consider how important
appearance is in getting to the top.
Your perceived level of attractiveness by other
people will be a significant benefit or detriment
in your life. It isn't fair but it is true. People
who get to the top learn how to deal with less
than perfect physical features and work with what
they can. Before we consider just how to increase
your face value look at the results of some
fascinating studies about physical appearance.
The Power of Physical Appearance:
- Did you know that in university settings,
professors who are considered physical
attractive by students are considered better
teachers on whole than unattractive
professors? Attractive professors are also
more likely to be asked for help on problems.
These same attractive professors also tend to
receive positive recommendations from other
students to take their classes and also are
less likely to receive the blame when a
student receives a failing grade! (Romano and
Bordieri 1989)
- Did you know that marriage and dating
decisions are often made with great weight
placed on physical attractiveness? A wide
variety of research indicates that men will
often reject women who are lacking (in their
opinion) in positive physical features. Women
on the other hand place less significance on a
man's physical attractiveness in considering
him for a date or marriage. (studies by R.E.
Baber)
- Did you know that in studies done on college
campuses, it has been proven that attractive
females (attraction as perceived by the
professors) receive significantly higher
grades than male students or relatively
unattractive females? (studies by J.E. Singer)
There is more evidence that shows you must make
the most of what you have physically.
Among strangers, individuals perceived as
unattractive in physical appearance are generally
undesirable for any interpersonal relationship!
(studies by D. Byrne, O. London, K. Reeves)
In one significant study of 58 unacquainted men
and women in a social setting we learned that
after a first date, 89% of the people who wanted a
second date decided to do so because of
attractiveness of the partner! (Brislin and Lewis)
In the persuasion process, attractive females
are far more convincing than females perceived as
unattractive. (Mills and Aronson)
Among American women, the size of a woman's
bust is significant to how both American men and
women perceive the woman. Women with a
"medium" sized bust are considered to be
more likable and have greater personal appeal than
women with a large or small bust. Women with a
small bust are perceived as more intelligent,
competent, and moral. Women with a large bust are
generally perceived as less intelligent and less
competent. (Kleinke, Staneski, 1980)
In yet another study, we find that young men
who are obese are generally considered to be
slothful and lazy. Both men and women who are
obese are generally perceived to have personality
characteristics that place them at a disadvantage
in social and business settings. (Worsley, 1981)
Can You Change Your Appearance?
Study after study reveals that how you look is
critical to someone's first impression of you. So
what can you do to change how you look? You can't
change everything about your physical appearance
but you can definitely make changes that will give
you a booster shot at going to the top in your
business and your personal life.
Research studies tell us that the
"exposure principle" increases our
"face value." Specifically, the exposure
principle says that the more often you are seen by
someone the more attractive and intelligent you
appear to them. If you weren't gifted with a Cindy
Crawford or Tom Cruise face then it's time for you
to take advantage of the exposure principle.
If you don't have the advantage of being
"seen" time after time by a person or a
group, then you must make the most of what you
have. In other words you want to look as good as
you possibly can on every given day. Because of
the significance of body image and weight you must
do what you can to keep your body weight down and
your body in shape for your overall image to be as
good as it can be.
Your teeth will tell a tale as well. If your
teeth are yellow and look like you just ate, your
face value is obviously greatly reduced. Do
everything you can to keep your teeth pearly white
and you will be perceived as more attractive.
(You've already seen the benefits of the
perception of attractiveness.) When you watch the
news tonight on TV, look at the teeth of every
news anchor, weather person and sports announcer.
They all have beautiful white teeth. There's a
reason for that and that is positive impression
management. You do the same and you will have a
boost on the way to the top.
Hair is significant to how you assess other
people isn't it? Hairstyles can say a great deal
about a person. Women with short and stylish hair
tend to be perceived as more professional. Older
women with longer hair tend to be perceived as
women who really wish they were much younger. Men
who are balding and try any of several ways to
"cover up" look as though (and probably
do) suffer from self esteem challenges. Men who
have long hair tend to be indifferent toward what
others think of them. Men whose hair is trimmed,
styled and short tend to be perceived as
professional. What is your hairstyle saying about
you?
You've now heard some of the important facts
about enhancing your personal appearance. Remember
to keep aware of the awesome power of body
language in every communication and use it to
enhance your face value.
Learn
more about decoding body language!
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